Twatball

Hark, peoples! The 2010 World Cup in South Africa is almost upon us. Rather than play your average fantasy football game, some gentleman somewhere decided to set up a version that even those of you who may not even like the sport can enjoy!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give thee:

TWATBALL

Instead of your players getting points for scoring a goal or your keeper getting clean sheets, you get awarded points for:

• players diving
• players getting sent off
• vomiting, urinating or defecating on the pitch
• failing to score from a penalty kick
• being sent on as a substitute, then being subbed off again
• player tests positive for banned substance
• player walks out on squad mid-tournament

And many many more.

So go on then. Even the haters can enjoy this one. Sit happily in the pub while Rooney kicks someone in the genitals again, while Drogba inverts himself time and time again against Brazil and Thierry Henry gets his second yellow card for sarcastically applauding his first (that one's worth thirty points), all the while smugly smiling to yourself, safe in the knowledge that your team is the twattiest.